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Paisley
News in from Northern Ireland, the Free Presbyterian Church has met in Dungannon to elect a successor to Ian Paisley, its moderator for almost 57 years.
This bigoted twat is overdue for a painful death. Born in 1926 he’s coming up for his 82nd birthday. In anticipation of the happy day when the miserable cunt dies, I’ve been thinking up some special punishments for him when he reaches HELL. Of course there is no such place, but he thinks there is.
So Ian, here’s hoping you enjoy some of the following…
Being fisted daily by Catholics.
Sharing a small dark room with Gerry Adams and every Pope there’s ever been (all 265 of them) for all eternity.
Developing some semblance of self-awareness and realising that you have wasted not only your miserable fucking existence but caused the deaths of hundreds of innocent people.
Feeling some shame for the above.
Spending every Thursday as a trilobite and thereby eventually determining that the earth is not flat and that “God did not put fossils in the rocks to test the faithful.”
Being made to sit in front of MotorHead’s PA while Lemmy shouts “No Surrender” through the PA until your ears bleed. Now you know how the rest of us feel.
So well done for resigning from the Moderatorship of your own church, now just hurry up and die, so we can be rid of your miserable self.
Tags: Politics, Rants, Religion
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