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Thick Apple

Just buying something for work, Apple can be really thick sometimes.



“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

Does that include Timmy?


Death List – Chapman Pincher

So the Spycatcher-General, Chapman Pincher has shuffled off this mortal coil at the grand age of 100, to visit that Lubjanka in sky. Thanks for the point Chapman, that’s the death list down to the final 17.



I’ve seen Alex Salmond parading around in his new suit of smugness. But like the Emperor, he’s naked and bare, as are his ideas.

Abstract the emotion, distil the blandishments of national pride and you are left with something as crude and base as north sea oil – patriotism.
We’re better than that.



Witty? Yes. Offensive? Only if you have no sense of humour.



Computer says “no”

This is what happens if you mistype a URL on my site.



How to resign!

Glenn Cullen finally ditches passive aggression for the real thing, in Series 4, Episode 7 of the Thick of It.

Glenn Cullen: Come on out everyone! Tally-ho! [yodels] COME ON, BRING OUT YOUR FUCKING DEAD! Right, everybody listen, I’ve got an announcement to make!
Phil Smith: What is it, you got an erection?
Glenn Cullen: No, I would like to tell you all that I am resigning!
Phil Smith: Is that it?
Glenn Cullen: No, you closet Regency homosexual, that is not it! Morally, this department is in the gutter!
Fergus Williams: Thanks for the speech Glenn, but–
Glenn Cullen: [grabs a desktop lamp] YOU STAY AND TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT! I will lamp you, with a lamp!
Terri Coverley: Glenn, you’ve gone a tiny bit psychotic, my love.
Glenn Cullen: You, Fergus, when you asked me to join you, all you had was your principles, but over the last two years, you’ve bent like a human fucking palm tree, swaying to the guff of these six-toed, born-to-rule, pony-fuckers!
Adam Kenyon: [to Glenn] If you’re gonna go, just go! Spare us this Peter Finch bullshit!
Glenn Cullen: Oh! Adam, you’re waiting for your turn! Oh no! I remember, it’s your turn right now! You are simply the most loathsome human being I have ever met! You were so well suited at The Mail, it’s a shame you came over here! Do you know what, I hate you both! Tweedle-twat and Tweedle-prick! You contribute absolutely nothing to the world so THANK FUCKING GOD YOU HAVE NO POWER!
Fergus Williams: Er, we do actually!
Glenn Cullen: No you don’t! And Peter, it’s been dreadful. I hope your cock falls off. Phil, do you know what you are? You’re like an eight-year-old trapped in a twelve-year-old’s body!
Phil Smith This is great! Why isn’t anyone filming this!?
Glenn Cullen: And Emma–
Phil Smith: Yeah, yeah! Do Emma, do Emma!
Glenn Cullen: Emma, I’m sorry, you’re just a standard issue, insipid posh bitch. That’s it! Terri? I don’t think I’ve ever met someone so proud and yet quite so useless. But I do have to thank you, because I have managed to stay in shape, purely though the energy I spend in pitying you every day!
Terri Coverley: Glenn, you’re just embarrassing yourself.
Glenn Cullen: Fuck you all up the wrong ‘un! Ta-ta! Bye-bye!

That’s called burning your bridges.


Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, nothing is perfect.  “Imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete.”

That’s wabi-sabi, an interesting concept from Japan which may be manifest in such beautiful things, as pottery, watches and Zen gardens.